I’d like to preface this by saying that I was hesitant to go out with this guy in the first place. You see, he wasn’t exactly the kind of guy you dream of taking home to mom. Without going into too much detail, he had only recently gotten his license back after a DUI incident and the last time I saw him he was moving out of his dorm room after being kicked out of college. (I know…a real winner.)
How Gettting Stood Up Was An Empowering Experience
But he was persistent, so after much deliberation, I decided to give this guy a chance and agreed to see Monsters U with him. As one of my dearest friends so eloquently stated, “What’s the worst that can happen? Best-case scenario: You’ll hit it off and want to see him again. Worst case scenario: You’ll get a free movie and some popcorn out of the deal and decide you don’t want to see him again.” As it turned out, I ended up buying my own ticket that night.
Given his questionable past, I decided to be smart about it and insisted that we take separate cars. He offered to pick me up about a half a dozen times, but I refused. Not that I thought he would show up drunk on our date, but I wasn’t taking any chances.
When the evening of the date finally rolled along, I actually felt excited about it. I texted my girlfriends for their advice on clothing options while I carefully straightened my hair and did my makeup. During my drive to the theater I started to get those pre-date jitters. I got there about 15 minutes early so I sat in the lobby and waited for my date to arrive. I contemplated texting him to say I was there, but I didn’t want to seem over-eager or desperate. Plus, I was sitting on a bench right next to the front door. There was no way he’d miss me!
As the minutes ticked on, I tried to occupy myself with people watching, but it felt like I was the one on display. Perhaps it was my imagination, but it seemed like every person walking into the theater knew I was waiting for a guy. Eventually, I got out my phone to check the time – the movie was about to start in five minutes and my date was still a no-show! Panicked, I mustered up the courage to text him letting him know that I was in the lobby. As I waited for him to respond, I kept glancing towards the door, hoping that he would walk in any second with a big smile and a good excuse for his tardiness. Perhaps he was stuck in traffic or there was a 6-car pileup on the highway? Those things would be completely out of his control…
Finally, with two minutes until show time, he texted me back. And I quote: “OMG Kim I’m so sorry shit I fell asleep”
It took me a moment to fully grasp what this meant, but not before I stupidly asked if he was still at his house. (He was.) He texted me back asking what he should do. At this point I figured I had two options. Option one: I could calmly stand up, walk to the door, get in my car and drive home. That didn’t seem like a very appealing option. I was already all dressed up and at the theater. Plus I genuinely wanted to see this movie. With that in mind I decided to go with option two: take myself on a date. I texted the guy and told him not to bother showing up because I was going to see the movie alone. Then I confidently walked to the counter, bought a ticket for one, and sprinted to the theater so I wouldn’t miss the previews.
This experience taught me a few things. First, I don’t need a man to have a good time! I can be completely content doing date-like things on my own. At first I did feel slightly awkward seeing a movie alone, but I did have a good time and by the end of the evening I felt proud of myself for sticking it out. Another lesson I learned is that no woman should settle for a man. At the end of the day, I’d much rather be alone than be with someone who doesn’t respect me or my valuable time. I deserve much better, and so do you.
After the credits were over and the lights came on, I saw the guy sitting a couple of rows behind me. Apparently he showed up halfway through the movie. He came up to me to apologize and offered to walk me to my car. It was a long and awkward walk. I couldn’t wait to get out of there.
When I got home that evening I had a text from him saying that I looked great tonight. I responded with a simple “I know.” And with those two words I felt empowered.Photo via
Kimberly D. Horner recently graduated from The College of New Jersey with a degree in journalism and professional writing. She dreams of moving to New York City and fulfilling her life-long dreams of becoming a dog owner and having a paying job. When she isn’t curled up reading the works of Jane Austen or hunched over her desk writing at 3 a.m., she can be found on the stage – acting, directing, or designing costumes. Some of her favorite things include: Earl Grey tea, naps, Sherlock Holmes, tie-dye cupcakes, the musical My Fair Lady, and actress Lucille Ball. You can follow Kimberly on Twitter @KimberlyDHorner or read about her vaguely interesting life on her website.