If you look up “Saturday night” in my personal dictionary, a picture of my 1980s movie collection pops up alongside a box of Chinese takeout and cookie dough. Hunks from the 80s have made girls swoon for decades. Ladies fall in love with John Bender’s bad boy persona and Johnny Castle’s moves. But are these iconic male characters from the greatest decade of movies boyfriend material?
Ferris Bueller – Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Ferris would probably plan really adventurous and adorable dates like surprise picnics on roof tops that are probably illegal to be on, but it would be totally cool because he never gets caught. He also has awesome dance moves and can rock a leopard print vest. The only setback would be that his slyness and trickery could affect the relationship. In return you are obligated as his girlfriend to pull the “Bueller, Bueller, Bueller” line a la Ben Stein if he ever ignores you. Fair trade? I’d say so.
Boyfriend Material Verdict: Definitely.
John Bender – The Breakfast Club
There’s no doubt that John Bender is dreamy. The combat boots, the plaid, the gloves. He’s got the bad boy look down from his witty comebacks to his disheveled appearance. Yet his hair is always perfect. It’s like the hair gods descended upon earth and carefully laid each follicle on his pretty little bad boy head perfectly into place. But he has a bit of baggage. I’m talking huge rolling suitcases you see people struggle with on airport baggage claims not teeny tiny handbags. Physical abuse at home is no joke so as his girlfriend you could be in a lot of emotional and/or aggressive situations. Plus he would totally steal your earrings.
Boyfriend Material Verdict: Depends if you’re willing to dedicate a lot of time to his issues at home. And how expensive your earrings are.
Johnny Castle – Dirty Dancing
Girls like guys who can dance, and Johnny Castle has the moves to dance right into your heart. He cares for his friends even when they’re pregnant with someone else’s baby and can’t afford healthcare. Everyone thinks he’s bad news, but he’s just trying to dance and make sure no one ever puts you in a corner. He’s misunderstood which makes him mysterious yet sweet and caring. He’ll sweep you off your feet (literally with that lift at the end) and wear all black a lot, which can be kind of hot.
Boyfriend Material Verdict: For sure.
Maverick – Top Gun
Maverick is a pilot who is good at what he does and knows it. Confidence is sexy, but too much confidence is a total turnoff. He’s good looking, but he also hooked up with his teacher at flight school. I know there isn’t an age difference and I get that she totally put her plane on his runway and all, but hasn’t he heard of appropriate student-teacher relations? The absolute deal breaker would be that really annoying sound of “Take My Breath Away” playing in the background every time the two of you kissed.
Boyfriend Material Verdict: Feeding his ego would be exhausting. Pass.
Chris Chambers – Stand By Me
I know this is a reach considering Chris Chambers is only 12 years old, but no 1980s movie list is complete without the incredibly talented River Phoenix. Like John Bender, Chris comes from a broken home. But he doesn’t let that get in his way. He’s smart and knows that Goofy can’t be a dog because dogs don’t wear hats and drive cars. He also tells his friends to embrace their weirdness and supports their hobbies even when they include telling stories about a massive vomit extravaganza. What a guy.
Boyfriend Material Verdict: Yes, but only when he reaches the age of 18.
Ronald Miller – Can’t Buy Me Love
Ronald is the nerd at school who suddenly becomes super hot after he trades his glasses for a new pair of kicks. Yawn. He even uses his monetary status to pay a girl to make him popular. He gets caught up in the windstorm known as high school popularity and hurts the only people who care about him in the process. You do have to give him credit for one thing though. He’s no Johnny Castle, but he killed it with those tribal dance moves.
Boyfriend Material Verdict: He eventually learns his lesson, but in the time it took him to find himself he did too much damage. Worth it? Probably not.
J.D. – Heathers
I get it. He’s sexy, has great hair, and makes a trench coat look super cool and not super homeless. But he’s actually psychotic and could possibly kill you if you’re not willing to go big or go home. And by go big I mean kill everyone at school.
Boyfriend Material Verdict: I’ve seen a lot of episodes of “Law and Order” and killing for your lover never ends well. I know it’s hard, but just say no to that perfect jawline
Taylor Pittman is a southern girl, born and raised in Alabama. She also wishes to never hear the song “Sweet Home Alabama” again. She is currently pursuing a BA in journalism at Auburn University where the boys are gentlemen and football is king. Her future plans include working for one of her favorite magazines and owning a black cat named Thackery Binx. She prides herself on once being compared to Rory Gilmore and knowing all the lyrics to Hanson’s “MmmBop.” In her perfect world, she would end every email with “XOXO, Gossip Girl” and have pizza at every meal. She shares all of her adventures on twitter @TaylorPittman22.