Friends on friends on friends. What would we be without them? They comfort us, send us YouTube videos of Harry Styles and will respond to our paragraph long texts about how hard life is. And, we of course do the same for them (there are a ton of Harry Styles videos, don’t worry we won’t run out). Having a strong slew of friendships is good for the soul, like chocolate. As I grow older and work on becoming more mature, I have these moments of clarity where I realize just how awesome my friends are and how fabulous friendships are in general. If you’re lucky enough to have a cast of friends that make you a better person and support you fully, then you understand these sentiments.
I have a magical mix of friends that I’m full of gratitude for. Some of them have been with me since kindergarten and others I’ve met within the past year. Some of the friendships have been a slow build, while others were an instantaneous bond. All are vital in their own way.
But, friendships take serious work and understanding. One of the toughest parts of long-term and new friendships alike is being open to the idea that certain friends serve certain purposes in your life. This isn’t a one-size fits all game. Not all are created equal and not all will stay the same forever.
As people uproot, move away and get engrossed in grown up life, there can be a tendency to let friendships fade away. STOP! That can’t happen (unless it’s natural and should happen for the goodness of all). Keeping strong bonds with the people you laugh with and who remember that weird velour phase you went through in high school (without judgement) is of the utmost importance to your sanity! Don’t let life get in the way of you and your best bosom buddies.
There’s a difference between allowing friendships to be fluid and ever-changing and letting changes totally disband a strong connection. People change (including me and you), which understandably means that friendships will change. Let them! Although it has taken me a while to understand that change is inevitable, once I did everything in the friends department shifted into a happy glow. I’m not the same person I was in college, thank god because all that beer consumption was unsustainable, so why would I expect my friendships from that time in life to be the same? In my experience, once you start releasing the rigidity of what your friendships need to mean, they start getting way better! Ebbs and flows in relationships are normal. Maybe you haven’t talked to your BFF in a month, but as soon as Katy Perry released her tour dates you two promised to go to her concert together and then talked about what to wear. That’s cool too. Appreciating wonderful friends doesn’t have to equate to talking to them 24/7, but it can.
All I know is that when you have someone good in your life, keep them. Make time for friends new and old and let them know how much they mean to you. Support them when they land a new job or get a killer haircut. There’s nothing wrong and everything good with some solid friend love. Take a cue from Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. They’ve been friends for like ever. Who knows maybe someday you’ll be hosting the Oscars with the friend you bonded over prank phone calls with.
Ally Garner hails from Madison, Wisconsin, but is currently a grad student studying media and public affairs at The George Washington University in our nation’s capital. She loves to write, eats a cupcake at least once a week and lives for all things Tina Fey/Liz Lemon. Get her talking about yoga, history, Harry Potter or traveling and she’ll go on for days. Also, her life philosophy is laughing is the best.