For the average Disney princess, happily ever after can leave a bit to be desired. The wedding bells ring and presumably the princesses find themselves in a big empty castle ready to play house. But what if, instead of mediocre sequels, the girls were given the opportunity to pursue a job and career? Aside from Tiana, (The Princess and the Frog) who works hard to start her own restaurant, the Disney princesses do not have any long term career objectives. That doesn’t mean that they’re not qualified, though, and the following is a list of potential match ups for Disney’s own career women.
Jasmine has talents with animals that surpass your average pet lover. She has trained her tiger, Rajah, to be loyal like a puppy but still ready to attack and protect her. Thus, Jasmine goes to a prestigious vet school, probably at Agrabah University, and trains to be a veterinarian. Not your average cat and dog doctor though. Her specialty is exotic animals, including monkeys, parrots and anything that has a pulse but was never meant to be house broken.
Ariel (The Little Mermaid)
Ah, Ariel. After marrying young, Ariel chooses not to pursue a degree but to instead open up her own pawn store. Channeling her hoarding to good use, Ariel can buy and sell items as to her pleasure. She watches Pawn Stars and dreams of following in their footsteps. Unfortunately, growing up in the sea gave her a wrong perception of the value of different human items. She excitedly buys more mundane items and struggles to sell them at a profit. You want thingamabobs? Girl’s got 20, at a 40% discount.
In reality Pocahontas met a pretty sad end when she moved to England. Luckily, Disney had no qualms about erasing any sad facts and it’s not hard to imagine a better life for Pocahontas. Already in tune with nature, Pocahontas decided to go further than painting with the colors of the wind and received her bachelor’s in environmental engineering. The New World is an ugly place especially with global warming looming over everyone’s heads.
After spending years cleaning up after the craziest step sisters ever, Cinderella is no longer interested in getting on her hand and knees to the dirty work. However, she channels her knowledge and becomes a successful entrepreneur who starts a maid service for celebrity clientele. With an army of cleaners and oddly capable field mice, she takes on the dirtiest of big time mansions. She makes the messes of any party disappear like a pumpkin carriage at midnight. With a little bippity boppity boo and Lysol no room is impossible to clean. Merry Maids has got nothing on Fairy Maids.
Snow White (Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs)
What is it in a kiss that makes it the antidote to a poison apple? Questions like this led Snow White to become a medical examiner. After her own near death experience, she develops a morbid curiosity with the cycle of death. At a crime scene or in the morgue, Snow White is always willing to dig deep to figure out the cause of death. The career is a little disappointing for someone who’s go to explanation is magic, but every day does bring a new mystery.
Growing up alone in a tower provided Rapunzel with a lot of time to hone her decorating skills. After seeing the same walls for 18 years, Rapunzel had to make do and redecorate her castle. Thus, interior design came naturally to her. She sees potential in every boring room. Got a basement that is dark and gloomy? That’s no problem for a girl who once turned a jail cell into a home.
Belle (Beauty and the Beast)
Belle is a voracious reader and her thirst for information translates well into academia. She’ll go to college, majoring in English or Comparative Literature. She’ll stick with it into her masters and eventually get her PhD studying tales as old as time, probably Shakespeare and anything by the Bronte sisters. She’ll work as a professor, the kind with a small class that requires 100 pages of reading a week and heavy class discussion. Who’s better to teach about personification than the girl who had teapot friends and a beast for a boyfriend?
What’s a girl to do after sneaking into the military dressed as a boy and saving China? Return home to become a house princess? As if. Mulan goes to law school, and after passing the bar she eventually uses her law experience and military background to go into politics. She inspires the people, stands up for women’s rights and breaks down traditional gender roles.
Michelle is a story enthusiast. It’s the best way to describe her obsessions at least. She loves any type of story including those in books, movies, television shows, gossip, history and really anything with a beginning, middle and end. The exception is probably scary stories but even then she tends to read about the plot on Wikipedia. She hates spoilers and her biggest pet peeve is when people ruin any detail of a series she hasn’t seen yet. Even if she’s three seasons behind and show no sign of catching up. Other things she likes to do when she’s not consuming stories include dancing (on stage or in her car), sending pictures of her painted nails to friends, enjoying the Great Lake State and watching her mother cook Indian food while pretending to understand the process.