It is a truth universally acknowledged that when things don’t go our way and we don’t get what we want, we tend to question ourselves, or worse—blame ourselves. Your boyfriend dumped you? You start to wonder what you did wrong, what you could have done differently, or even try to analyze what it is you don’t have that his new girlfriend does.
A job you really wanted, or several jobs you tried to get, didn’t work out. You either got a sad rejection email (if you’re even lucky enough to hear back at all) or you got your hopes up by going on an interview only to inevitably not be selected for the position. What do you do? Immediately start to think it’s you. If this happens enough times, you may even start to believe there’s something wrong with you.
The thing is, it’s human nature to think this way. How many times have scenarios like this played out in your life? Rejection is probably one of the most relatable emotions because it’s one that everyone experiences at some point or another. And so our minds seem to be programmed to try to identify whatever shortcomings we have are the ones that lead to this so-called failure. But have you ever tried to change the script for just a minute? What if it’s not you? What if things really are just as they should be and the universe is simply trying to protect you from something worse?
I tend to believe that things really do happen for a reason. Sometimes it just takes a while to finally understand why. And this may all be total crap… after all, no one has all the answers, but it certainly helps to try to maintain a positive outlook on life, especially when you’re dealing with the awful things you just sometimes have to go through.
There are so many different reasons why things happen (or don’t happen) and often they may have nothing to do with you. Your ex may have had unresolved issues from past relationships, all which completely are unrelated to you. That job you didn’t get could have put you on the wrong path or purpose, or may have saved you from a horrible new boss. You see? There could be a million reasons why you didn’t get what you wanted, so don’t always blame yourself right away. Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Be nicer to yourself. You deserve more than that kind of self-loathing mentality.
I can’t guarantee that you’ll someday know for sure why any of these things didn’t come to fruition, but there’s a certain peace that comes with accepting life as it happens, with its many plot changes. It’s all a part of your story. These things make you who you are, shape who you’ll become, and you’ll only be stronger for it.
My point is to try to see the bright side of rejection. It may not always be as awful as you think when you realize that it may have eliminated an unforeseen potential negative in your life. And if that’s the case then you’re far from being a failure. That’s you, winning!
And if you don’t believe me, then just listen to The Rolling Stones: “You can’t always get what you want
but if you try sometimes you just might find you get what you need.”
Self-proclaimed purveyor of words, Ana Montoya, has been smitten with the written word ever since her dad bought her her very first Hello Kitty diary when she was five years old. In the years to follow, you could’ve easily found her at her school’s book fairs, writing for the campus paper, or editing the class yearbook. Today, when she’s not heading up editorial and social media for a fashion accessories magazine or freelance writing, she’s usually somewhere in between reading her favorite blogs and trying to catch up to the current season of Mad Men. Lover of Coldplay, the ‘80s, Europe, and chocolate, Ana’s always searching for the next interesting place to explore, whether while traveling the world or simply wandering through her beloved streets of Manhattan. Follow this media junkie struck by wanderlust on Twitter at @missanamon